Blessings

I am so blessed everyday of my life. I get a beautiful reminder of what an eternal family is and why I made this decision to place. Watching my brother with his daughters brings tears to my eyes because it is those sweet and tender loving father daughter moments that I cherish with my dad, and that I want Berlin to have. The amazing spirit I feel is overwhelming and I could never change my decision, I know that Josh and Nicola are indeed her parents and her eternal family. As I am getting closer to the point of physically handing Berlin to them, and relinquishing my rights as a mother and parent, it is becoming very real. But I know as sure as the Savior sacrificed for each of us, that handing her over is the most incredible sacrifice I can possibly make short of giving my life for another person. But even so I can't imagine the vast amount of suffering it took so even after making poor decisions in my life I can be forgiven and come back to Him someday. The love I feel for this sweet child is beyond words and I can't even hold her in my arms yet. No part of this decision is easy... and I do well at hiding the hurting lately... but there is no denying this is beginning to effect me emotionally in a big way. I am so grateful for Clark and Kelsey ... everyday I wake up and thank Heavenly Father for them in my life. And I can't believe how lucky I am to have Josh and Nicola. They are amazing and continue to bless my life everyday. My family has become my backbone through this all and I wouldn't have made it this far with out them... Thank you everyone for the blessings you are in my life.